Obligatory Flashback Without The Use Of LSD:
Hood-winked sat in the weed closet with the strange woman her real mommy when something came over the woman like a bong hit from the gods or the channeling of a bad Jabba the Vader imitation.
She said to Hood-winked, "Hood-winked. I am your real mommy."
Hood-winked nodded and set some more of the weed on fire.
"No," the woman said again. "I am your real mommy. Join with me on the dark side of the forest." This time she got real close to Hood-winked's face when she said it and drew a picture in the smoke that looked almost but not quite like a white rabbit with a pocket watch.
Hood-winked finally got the message and that was that.
Skipping back to our story with a game of hopscotch before lunch:
Hood-wicked found the prince who wasn't a prince intriguing. He brought fire from outside the forest which made even the trees a bit less secure in their bark—and especially since they had no bite to speak of in the first place.
So she took off her clothes and blinded him with science. It was a match made in Purgatory. Or at least Limbo.
So Hood-winked took him to meet the strange woman her real mommy and see if they couldn't pull off some kind of mesmerism on the prince who wasn't a prince. And it worked. The prince suddenly thought he was a prince instead of keeping in mind that he wasn't.
The prince who wasn't a prince was really a bookworm. Though he actually thought of himself as more of a worm who liked books. But once he got a hold of Hood-winked's extras, he was instantly hooked.
And the story goes downhill from there. We'll skip the sorted details. They were bad. They were horrible. They were worse than you can imagine. And then even more horribler and worser than that. It even defies all proper spelling. Yes. It was that bad.
Years go by and Hood-winked and Stupid the prince who wasn't a prince suddenly realized that they too had spawned and that the strange woman had somehow moved them from the oven into the frying pan that seemed more like garbage heap instead.
And that's when Hood-winked decided that enough was enough.
A True Miracle happened (and it wasn't a horse in a crazy Mel Brooks movie!) A princess stood up from the garbage pile and said, "We just ain't fuckin' doin' this anymore."
The bookworm agreed.
And life suddenly became brighter when they walked hand in hand in hand (they had spawned, one must remember) out of the forest and into the castle beyond the stars to leave the strange woman behind.
But behind every silver cloud there is a lead dagger and another forest full of wolves (and the strange woman that never really goes away—much like Darth Vader in a Star Wars movie). Hood-winked, though no longer hoodwinked, was still just another Little Red Riding Hood in a concrete jungle way too big for her common sense.
... to be continued ...
